


No Matter What

by oyabros



Series: Haikyuu!! Family Verse [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Azumane Asahi-centric, F/M, Light Angst, OC Character Death, domestic stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oyabros/pseuds/oyabros
Summary: Azumane kept quiet and stared at his wife. He was trying to understand what she meant when he couldn’t even imagine a day without seeing her.“And I’ll be okay because I’ll be with the three of you, no matter what.”
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/OC
Series: Haikyuu!! Family Verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734073
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	No Matter What

_I met her at the time when I wasn’t looking. But my eyes appeared to have a life of their own at that time. The next thing I know, she’s all that I see, and I couldn’t find the strength to look away. For the first time in a long while, I was finally looking._

_“Azumane-kun, aishiteru.”_

  


XX---XX

The alarm was ringing loudly in the morning, waking Asahi from the voice he longed for. Asahi reluctantly sat up from his bed and turned off the alarm clock. He never wanted to throw away that clock so bad before. It has been a while since he heard that voice. He decided to go back to bed for a little while, taking in her voice just a few minutes more. He was still half-asleep, so he was hoping he could still hear her voice and remember her face. And that made Asahi bite his lip as he felt his chest constricting. She has been gone since his youngest son was three years old, but the pain of losing her has always been there. The pain didn’t go away, but it got better. He let himself be vulnerable for a while. He let himself long for that person who he has always considered his other half. He needed that breathing space before he faces their sons again.

They need him. He’s the only parent left. As he remembers how she used to sing to her sons’ good night, he hummed together with them. Tears may be falling down his cheeks at present, but he never regretted chasing the one he looked at. It was short, but those years were Asahi’s favorite. He wouldn’t say the happiest because he is happy as he can be at the moment. Then his sons’ mischievous smiles flashed in his mind, and he knew, she would be so proud of him.

“Papa?” He heard his youngest son’s faint knocking on the door.

He cleared his throat for a bit before responding, so as not to give away the reason for getting up late. “I’ll be right there, Tadashi. You wake up your onii-chan, okay?”

“Okay.”

He waited for the footsteps to fade away before taking in a deep breath and waking himself up. He quickly did his morning bathroom routine, taking more time to wash his face. 

When he went down in the dining area, he saw his sons just arrived at the table, the youngest trying to wake up his big brother.

“Yuu, wear your uniform properly before falling asleep again. I’ll make a quick breakfast, so fix your things for school first while waiting. Papa is sorry for waking up late.” Asahi apologized to his son while he started making breakfast.

Tadashi followed suit and went back upstairs to fix his things. Yuu, albeit reluctantly, started buttoning his shirt.

“Did you have difficulty sleeping last night?” Asahi wondered. It was not unusual for his eldest son to be sleepy in the morning. But his papa instincts are telling him that Yuu didn’t stay up late playing games last night.

“No...” Yuu answered and appeared to be reluctant to continue.

“Is something wrong, Yuu?” Asahi’s instincts are spot on again.

Yuu didn’t reply immediately. He finished fixing his uniform, but he kept quiet. Asahi didn’t push his son to answer. He knows something is up because his usual straight-to-answer son suddenly started thinking about what he has to say. This only happens if 1) he did something wrong 2) if he believes he disappointed people, and 3) if it’s about his mother. Asahi made a rundown of recent events, and there were no events that he know of that could be reasons 1 and 2. So that means, it’s about his late wife. 

Asahi remembered his dream again. There was that tiny “pang” on his chest, and he grew more worried because his son is involved now too. Yuu may be loud and rough, but he is a considerate boy. Asahi noticed that Yuu treads carefully whenever he asks about his mom. He noticed that he got more and more careful as he grew up. Yuu must have observed his reactions every time he asks, and Asahi couldn’t help but blame himself for that. He wished he handled it better.

It’s been a minute or two, and Yuu still hasn’t answered. If this goes on, he knew his son will just keep his feelings to himself. If his son is lonely, he will make sure that he will be there to share the pain. So, Asahi gently asked, “Did you dream of mama again?” 

He didn’t look at Yuu yet, and he continued to busy himself with breakfast. He wanted to give his son the space to recollect himself after that question. When he hasn’t replied for a few more heartbeats, Asahi finally decided to look at his son. “It’s okay, Yuu. Papa misses mama too.”

With that, Yuu looked at his father with surprise, holding back his tears. “I dreamed of mama.” He admitted. “It’s been a while since I’ve dreamed of her. I wanted to go back to sleep because of that.”

Asahi was surprised by that confession. He ruffled his son’s hair and went back to making breakfast. “Papa felt the same this morning.” He admitted. 

“You dreamed of mama too?” Yuu asked in astonishment.

“Yeah, heard her voice, and I remembered the song she usually sings in your sleep.”

“Is it the one that goes like this?” And Yuu started singing.

While Yuu was singing, Asahi sang along with Yuu, and they were both taken with bittersweet feelings.

In the middle of singing, they were suddenly joined by another voice. The two didn’t stop and welcomed the sound of the youngest who completed the song with them. When the song was finished, the eggs Asahi was cooking were also done.

“Okay, eat up. Here’s the toast. Don’t forget to finish your milk.” Asahi reminded his sons.

“Tadashi?” Yuu addressed his younger brother. “How do you know that song?”

Tadashi blinked several times, confused as to why his onii-chan is asking him. “Isn’t that the song papa usually sings when we go to bed?”

Of course, how can Tadashi-kun remember? He was only three when their mom passed away due to a disease, they found out too late. 

“But I also think mama sings that for us. I am not really sure because I can’t remember. But papa said she used to sing that to us and I dreamed of her singing it to me. Do you also dream of mama?” Tadashi asked innocently. 

The eldest son and the father couldn’t help but stare at each other. Asahi gave Yuu a sweet smile as if reassuring him that it’s okay to talk about his mother. It’s okay to ask papa about mama. It’s okay to miss mama because all of them miss her.

Asahi gently removed the bread crumbs on his youngest son’s face and answered him, “Actually, I was telling your onii-chan here that I wanted to continue sleeping so I could hear mama. But then I remember your stupid grins, and you know what your onii-chan is like when he’s hungry.” Their papa kidded.

“What about me being hungry?” Yuu grumbled.

“Nii-chan, you look like Tobio-chan when you’re hungry,” Tadahi said, pertaining to their cousin.

“And so, what if I look like Tobio-chan? He looks kinda scary, but he’s still cute!”

“Tobio-chan is in Kindergarten, and you’re in 5th grade, Yuu-kun.” Asahi chided, and this earned a laugh from Tadashi.

Yuu was half-sulking, but the family of three continued to eat breakfast peacefully. At the back of Asahi’s mind, he can imagine his late wife looking at the three of them with a smile on her face. Asahi couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with feelings of love. She is with the three of them, after all.

Even in the last few moments of her life, she never failed to express her love for them. Asahi remembered their last conversation. He was filled with fears, with dread, with anguish, but his wife was filled with nothing but love and appreciation.

  


xx--xx

“I don’t know if I can do it on my own, Airi.” Azumane was inconsolable after getting the dreaded news from the doctors a few minutes ago.

Airi held his hand and cried with him. Azumane used to hesitate to hold her hand, afraid that his strength won’t be enough, but Airi taught him that, together, there is nothing they couldn’t face. Even if Azumane is feeling weak or if Airi is also having difficulty believing, when they hold hands, everything feels right again. Even when things weren’t going well, they always faced it together.

After a few minutes, Airi finally spoke, “Azumane-kun, they’ll be okay because they have you. You’ll be okay because you have them.”

Azumane just kept quiet and stared at his wife. He was trying to understand what she meant when he couldn’t even imagine a day without seeing her.

“And I’ll be okay because I’ll be with the three of you, no matter what.”


End file.
